Yesterday was a blessing! My sister, Missy gave birth to her second son. Both Mom and Baby are healthy and happy. I had the honor of changing his first diaper. (When did that become and honor?!)
I give myself a pass for not blogging yesterday’s chapter from Mark Napo’s book. If you have an aha or insight you would like to share, please do so below!
Today’s short reading reminded me of something that took me a long time to embrace, but embrace it I did! Mark writes about the struggle we have all experienced in “hiding what is obvious about us”.
For me it has been my voice, or what my husband lovingly refers to as my intense energy. I’m not the shy quiet type. I speak my truth and I am mostly direct in doing so. I am also very passionate and I get animated when I talk about that which I am passionate.
As a kid I was loud and boisterous, always full of energy. Some of it was about trying to get attention, so when my mother would “shush” me and tell me not to be so loud, it would squash my me-ness. Of course I didn’t understand it that way back then, but as I journied inward during times of self-exploration as an adult, to learn what had caused me later in life to not express myself, these experiences were front and center.
In time I learned to embrace my energy and even how to manage it. I know it’s a lot – and often times too much – for some people. But hey, that’s their problem, not mine. In those cases I don’t apologize for who I am, I just remind myself that not everyone processes energy in the same way. I also make 
note that those particular people are not “my people”. They are not who I flourish in relationship with. I have sacrificed who I am in past relationships (as I’m sure you have too) just because I wanted to be accepted. But to be accepted for anyone other than who you are is not acceptance, it’s conformist behavior.
The funny thing that happens when you finally come to own that thing you were trying to hide, I mean owning and embracing it as the fiber that makes up who you are, people come to expect it from you, even rely on it.
I’m proud of my voice, my energy and the passion I hold for the things that are important to me. And I’m proud of the fact that the people in my life know they can depend on me to tell them the truth, in a loving and gentle way, even if it’s not what they want to hear at the time.
So what is “that thing” for you? What did you try so hard to hide, that you know now, makes you who you are?
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