Are You a “YES” Woman?

In Jim Carry’s latest comedy, “Yes Man” he attends a seminar that teaches him to say “Yes!” to everything. With the thought that by saying “Yes!” to all the new opportunities that come your way, one will experience life in the fullest.

I agree, to some extent that you must be open to the opportunities that come your way, but only the ones that fit in with your bigger plan and that you have the time and energy to fulfill. Unfortunately most women are challenged in this area and have what has often been referred to as “The Disease to Please”.

Whether it’s a request to carpool an extra day this week, take on a new project at work, or bake 6 dozen cupcakes for the church bake sale, many women have a hard time saying “No” and could easily qualify as “Yes Women”!

I’m not even going to talk about WHY we do this. That’s a whole other topic! What’s important is that you STOP saying yes to everyone’s request as soon as you hear it, and get clear as to whether fulfilling that request is going serve the greater good of your goal or purpose.

Here is an exercise I use with my private clients to help them get clear about a decision they need to make.

Part One

Draw a vertical line down the middle of a clean piece of paper.
On the top of the left side of the paper write: ‘By saying YES to __________’ (fill int the blank).
On the right side of the paper write ‘I am saying NO to _________________’ (fill in the blank).
Be sure to get it all out. Look at all the implications/scenarios/consequences.

Part Two

On the left side of the paper write ‘By saying NO to ______________’ (fill in the blank).
On the right side of the paper write ‘I am saying YES to _____________’ (fill in the blank).
Again, get clear about the outcome.

Now, look at all the information you have in front of you, check in with your Inner Guidance and make an informed decision!

Client Example:

Betty Lou was asked by her boss to lead a new project at work. Betty Lou has been waiting for the opportunity to show her boss that she is ready to take on more responsibility. However, in order to do this job successfully, Betty Lou knows it will require her to stay late at work at least two nights per week.

By saying Yes to work, Betty Lou is saying NO to eating dinner with her family two nights each week.

By saying YES to work, Betty Lou is saying NO to putting her kids to bed two nights each week.

By saying NO to two nights at home with her family, Betty Lou is saying YES to career advancement.

By saying NO to two nights at home with her family, Betty Lou is saying YES to some alone time for her husband and the kids.

Get the idea?

By using this decision making method you will be more empowered and confident because you will have a clear picture of the cost and benefit of your decisions.

Try it out and let me know how it goes, OK?

Until Thursday, have a great week! . . . XO

Tagged as: decision making tools, disease to please, how to say NO