In Jim Carry’s latest comedy, “Yes Man” he attends a seminar that teaches him to say “Yes!” to everything. With the thought that by saying “Yes!” to all the new opportunities that come your way, one will experience life in the fullest.

I agree, to some extent that you must be open to the opportunities that come your way, but only the ones that fit in with your bigger plan and that you have the time and energy to fulfill. Unfortunately most women are challenged in this area and have what has often been referred to as “The Disease to Please”.

Whether it’s a request to carpool an extra day this week, take on a new project at work, or bake 6 dozen cupcakes for the church bake sale, many women have a hard time saying “No” and could easily qualify as “Yes Women”!

I’m not even going to talk about WHY we do this. That’s a whole other topic! What’s important is that you STOP saying yes to everyone’s request as soon as you hear it, and get clear as to whether fulfilling that request is going serve the greater good of your goal or purpose.

Here is an exercise I use with my private clients to help them get clear about a decision they need to make.

Part One

1. Draw a vertical line down the middle of a clean piece of paper.
2. On the top of the left side of the paper write: ‘By saying YES to __________’ (fill int the blank).
3. On the right side of the paper write ‘I am saying NO to _________________’ (fill in the blank).
4. Be sure to get it all out. Look at all the implications/scenarios/consequences.

Part Two

1. On the left side of the paper write ‘By saying NO to ______________’ (fill in the blank).
2. On the right side of the paper write ‘I am saying YES to _____________’ (fill in the blank).
3. Again, get clear about the outcome.

Now, look at all the information you have in front of you, check in with your Inner Guidance and make an informed decision!

Client Example:

Betty Lou was asked by her boss to lead a new project at work. Betty Lou has been waiting for the opportunity to show her boss that she is ready to take on more responsibility. However, in order to do this job successfully, Betty Lou knows it will require her to stay late at work at least two nights per week.

By saying Yes to work, Betty Lou is saying NO to eating dinner with her family two nights each week.

By saying YES to work, Betty Lou is saying NO to putting her kids to bed two nights each week.

By saying NO to two nights at home with her family, Betty Lou is saying YES to career advancement.

By saying NO to two nights at home with her family, Betty Lou is saying YES to some alone time for her husband and the kids.

Get the idea?

By using this decision making method you will be more empowered and confident because you will have a clear picture of the cost and benefit of your decisions.

Try it out and let me know how it goes, OK?

Until Thursday, have a great week! . . . XO

Today was a busy networking day.

Early morning networking group, followed by a breakfast meeting with a friend and colleague.

Come back to the home office, check email, welcome a new client with her New Client Package.

Head out to a lunch meeting with another colleague.

Return back home, heat up some homemade soup (Weight Watchers Recipe, delish!).

Write article for next week’s newsletter.

Return some calls.

Laser coaching session with a powerful client!

Head out for another meeting with a colleague.

As I’m driving home with the thought that the work day is almost over, I suddenly feel an emptiness in my stomach. Like something is terribly wrong. I can’t quite place it, yet it feels oddly familiar.

Then, as I get closer to the front door, key in hand, I realize what it is.

What used to be a feeling of joyfulness and excited anticipation, is now sadness and grief.

What used to be the greeting of all greetings, tail wagging, so thrilled that I am home, is now the cat hissing at me because I left him alone so long. (Don’t get me wrong I love Nike, but I am a dog person at heart!)

I miss my puppy. OK she wasn’t a puppy. Asha was 25 days shy of her 15th birthday on the day we helped her on her way Home. That was 6 weeks ago today.

Sometimes when I’m here at the computer writing and I get in the zone for a while, I don’t notice she’s not here. Then I stop typing and I get up to go get a drink, or stretch my legs, that instant between thinking about moving and actually turning around and noticing she’s not there, I feel excited to pet her. Only to feel the sadness yet again when I see the empty space where her bed was.

I guess it’s getting better, I don’t know. My Uncle who’s dog died a few months before Asha said each day is different, not better, just different.

We did the right thing, I am sure about that. She was ready to go. She needed some Peace.

I just miss her a lot though, you know?

We have a plaque in the kitchen that says, “Heaven’s the place where all the dogs you’ve ever loved come to greet you. ” I look forward to seeing Asha again.

Give a hug to your animal tonight, and maybe an extra treat. They are such blessings in our lives. They want nothing more than to give us love.

Have a great weekend! . . . XO

These past three months have been the most AMAZING Spiritual journey for me. As I write that I think about how I would have responded if I had read those words three months ago. I would have thought “Spiritual journey” meant an airy, fairy Kumbaya kind of weirdo thing. (How’s that for clear articulation?)

My point is, I have this new understanding about Spirituality. I used to think it was about religion. It’s not. At least not for me. What it’s about is the infinity sign. The energy running from me to my Inner Wisdom and out to the Higher Power of Universal Energy, and back again to me. This constant flow of connection. It’s very cool!

I’ve been having some awesome experiences lately where I can feel my connection so strongly. It’s this feeling of love and support and never aloneness. At the same time is feels very practical and natural. Not like the airy fairy way I always thought it would feel. It feels right.

What I have learned is that there are different layers of this feeling and being. For me the first level was reading about having this kind of connection with Spirit and wondering what it would be like. Next would come the desire to have the connection. Then the belief that it was possible. Now that I have experienced this feeling, and have a new AWARENESS, I recognize this level as knowing.

I now KNOW what it’s like to be connected to our Higher Source, where before I only BELIEVED that it was possible. There is a profound difference in believing and knowing. I also know that I needed to believe before I could have the experience of knowing. I had to trust and allow myself to receive it in order to have the experience.

A very cool thing happened to me a few weeks ago. I had had an extraordinary day. I was living my purpose and being acknowledged for it. I was having fun, and I felt so “in the flow”. As I lay down to sleep that night, I gave thanks. I shared my gratitude out loud for all that I had in my life. I got emotional as I gave thanks for the connection that I felt with my Higher Power. I was vibrating at such a high level, I could feel it!

The next morning I was woken by my alarm. It was Roy Orbison singing these words to me:

“Anything you want you got it!” Now ever since the first time I heard that song, I thought after those lyrics instead of saying “Baby” I thought he said “Aimee”. (It kind of sounds like that especially if your name is Aimee!)

So, that morning, after having such a profound connection to the Universe, I awoke to what I saw as the Universe’s response to me:

“Anything you want, you got it . . . Aimee!”

Where are you in your experience with your Higher Power? What do you need to let go of in order to get to the next level in your journey?

I’d love to hear from you about that. Please share with me below.

Until Thursday . . . XO

Having worked in the Health Club Industry for many years and having trained many women to help them reshape their bodies as well as their mindsets, I feel very well equipped to talk about the similarities between physical development and personal development.

I’ve said it many times before. Building and strengthening your connection to yourself is exactly like building, strengthening, and stretching a muscle. Sometimes, especially when you first get started, you can experience a lot of pain and discomfort.

When you lift weights it causes microscopic tears in your muscle fibers causing you to feel soreness. The harder you push yourself (outside your comfort zone), the more intense the impact. Likewise, when you begin to address the things in your life that hold you back from creating the exquisite life and business of your dreams, you will also experience some discomfort.

Back in my health club days as a Personal Trainer I would tell my clients to “get beyond the pain!” Now this was in no way a suggestion to work through an injury, it was a means to motivate and inspire in order to get them through the discomfort and reap the benefit of all their hard work.

As much as they hated it in the moment, as UNCOMFORTABLE as it was, when they finally got through it they ALWAYS felt stronger and more powerful. Those are the benefits of stretching yourself beyond your comfort zone. When you think about it haven’t you consistently experienced personal growth when you faced an uncomfortable situation and worked your way through it?

Working through your personal challenges is exactly like training a muscle. You need to stay in the place of discomfort a bit longer than you might like in order to experience a shift in your perspective.

I completed with one of my favorite clients yesterday. In eight months she completely transformed her life. She went from having to be in complete control all the time to welcoming the moments when she can take her hands off the wheel and allow the Universe to take over and lead the way. She said that doing this inner work is “a muscle, the more you use it, the easier it gets.”

I couldn’t have said it better!

So I ask you . . . when was the last time you had a good, intense workout, where you faced the consistent challenges that hold you back, keep you small and stop you from claiming your Power?

Aren’t you tired of watching your life go by? If so, are you up for a challenge? Step outside your comfort zone and do something different to make you a stronger, more powerful being. Once you get started it really does get easier!

Share how it goes with me, OK?

I hope you have a great weekend! Until Monday . . . XO

Happy Monday!

I love going on vacation, especially to warmer climates. Although, the climate in Florida last week was not as warm as usual. We were fortunate enough to get three days at the pool and I am no longer pasty white. I have upgraded to warm beige!

The first few days of vacation were spent visiting my 95 year old Nana. She is amazing! She serves on the board of her nursing home, has been interviewed by local media and played a major role in having her home rated the best in all of Miami! Number 3 in all of Florida!

After visiting Nana and my Uncles we headed back to Naples to spend time with Adam’s parents. We watched lots of the Olympics and ate lots of yummy home made food. So much so that I gained back almost 5 lbs of the 14 I had lost! Back to behaving today! Oh but those home made brownies!

It’s great to get away and unplug. Now I am preparing to speak to the Seacoast Women’s Network tomorrow night in NH. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Until Thursday . . .  XO

Many of the tools I use in my coaching I learned from The Coaching From Spirit Institute.

This process I’d like to share with you today came from the teachings of Kurt Wright, the author of a fantastic book called “Breaking the Rules”. In a nutshell, Wright explains the importance of focusing on what IS working instead of what IS NOT working both in business and in life.

If you know anything about the Laws of the Universe you understand that that which you focus on or give attention to expands. So it makes sense that if you focus on what is not working you will get what? YES! more of what is not working.

Therefore, if you focus on what is working you will, of course, get more of that!

OK. So what if your in the muck and gunk of low level energy and you are having a hard time even SEEING what is working in your current situation? Ask of yourself these three questions that come from Wright’s book and experience an immediate shift in your energy!

• What do I not want to feel in this moment?
• What would make me feel just a little bit better?
• What can I do right now to feel just a little bit more of that?

Let’s use an example to illustrate:

My client Mary has a ton of fabulous ideas rolling around in her head that she knows will generate a lot of income for her business. Mary is feeling overwhelmed and has begun to doubt her abilities because she is operating under an old belief system that tells her she never finishes anything. So guess what? Yup! She’s not finishing anything!

Here’s what it looks like for Mary to use these questions:

• What do I not want to feel in this moment? Mary does not want to feel so overwhelmed.
• What would make me feel just a little bit better? All Mary wants in this moment is to feel more peaceful.
• What can I do right now to feel just a little bit more of that? Because we have been working together for some time, Mary has learned that Nature is something she values greatly and finds a lot of peace in. So when Mary asks herself this question, her Inner Wisdom tells her to take a walk outside.

So let’s pause for a moment to say a word or two about our Inner Wisdom. This exercise is as much about connecting to your Inner Wisdom as it is about shifting your energy. Asking questions of that wealth of personal information that is stored inside of you will always lead you in the direction that will serve you best.

A very important point that I’d like to highlight is: You must be open to listen to your Inner Wisdom when it answers you! If you judge it you are defeating the purpose!

OK, Let’s continue with the example of Mary.

Mary listened to her Inner Guidance and went for a walk outside. At the end of her walk, she stopped at her local coffee shop and saw a friend with whom she shared her dilemma about one of her ideas. Her friend just happened to know the perfect person to help Mary get this idea implemented and just like that Mary attracted a solution!

Now would Mary have found a solution to her problem if she had not gone for this walk? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

We do know that had she not gone for this walk she would still be home feeling overwhelmed and lacking forward movement. Instead of how she is feeling now which is hopeful, grateful and very excited!

How do you shift your energy when you are feeling stuck? I’d love to hear and share!

If you do use these questions, please let me know how they work for you! Don’t discount them because of their simplicity! Remember K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Sweetie!

Until Thursday . . . XO

At such a young age we begin to seek out approval from others. It begins as toddlers looking to our parents for approval, as adolescents it’s our friends, and once we enter the working world it’s all of the above in addition to our boss and colleagues. It seems we are constantly seeking out the approval of others.

In my yoga class a few weeks ago the instructor quoted a sociologist whose teachings he had studied. The quote by Cooley goes like this:

“I am not what you think I am.

I am not what I think I am.

I am what I think you think I am.”

I was blown away by its simplicity. The more I thought about it the more I came to realize the meaning it held for me. My interpretation goes like this “It’s not how you see yourself, it’s not how others see you, it’s how you think others see you that runs your life.” It’s the “runs your life” part I want to address here.

I don’t know about you, but I have made many decisions (some of them real doosies) based on what I thought someone else thought I should do. Or how about this, have you ever chosen to wear a piece of clothing because you thought it would impress a particular person you would see while wearing it? Do you buy (or avoid) certain name brands because of how you think others will think of you for owning them? Do you make business decisions based on how you think others will judge you? How about parenting decisions based on what others are doing even if you don’t fully agree? This is what I mean by “running your life.”

For so long I was at the mercy of the people in my life. They, of course, had no idea. (Those from whom we seek approval rarely do.) As you may know, before I became a coach I was a Nanny. I was so concerned about what others would think about that as a profession. I was in my mid 30’s after all, college educated. I thought that they thought that there must be something wrong with me — that I couldn’t do anything “better” than take care of someone else’s children. If I saw people I knew I would do whatever I could to avoid them so I wouldn’t have to deal with the embarrassment. I was afraid of what they might think.

What I came to understand later was that these were all my own inadequacies that I was imposing on others. I felt ashamed and lost because at that time in my life my personal and professional lives were in shambles. I learned years later that these same people I was avoiding actually admired me for taking on one of the most difficult jobs there is. I didn’t see it that way at the time so I imposed my feelings, my judgments on them. Very similar to a self-fulfilling prophecy, I’d say!

So, many of your decisions are based on your thoughts about what others will think, say or do in response to those decisions. What now? I’ve spent a lot of time on this myself. I’ve learned a lot about positive thinking and changing your thoughts to change your life, and all that good stuff.

I’d love to hear how you have come to make your decisions and how much influence you allow others in your life to have on those decisions.

Please, share with me below. I can’t wait to hear from YOU!

Have a fabulous weekend! XOXO

I want to share a client story that you may relate to.

You may know this story if you’ve been reading my newsletters, but read it again. Consider how this relates to your business. I will tie it all together at the end.

This is a story about my client who I will call Rock Star (because she is!). Rock Star has been having control issues related to some challenges her daughter has been experiencing at school. Rock Star likes to be in control and that she has no control over this situation was causing a lot of frustration and blocked energy for her.

Rock Star began to implement some of the tools we have been working with like affirmations, gratitude journaling and using “I choose” statements when practicing positive self-talk. Recently Rock Star started to notice something. She shared with me that even though it was difficult for her to stay in a place of discomfort about her daughter’s challenges at school she was doing it anyway.

Please understand the full scope of this. Rock Star feels out of control. She wants more than anything to be able to find the solutions to her child’s challenges, yet she can’t. So she has decided to sit in this place of discomfort and lack of control and just BE with it and find peace in this place. Do you get how much courage this takes?

As a result of this she is learning how to better manage her own emotional energy and in turn is actually serving her daughter better by being the mother and advocate she needs to be. Just the other day Rock Star made a conscious decision to choose Peace and Inner Contentment over anger and frustration as it relates to her daughter’s situation. Do you know how that happened? Let’s take a look:

1. Rock Star got very courageous and chose to stretch herself beyond her comfort zone.
2. Rock Star survived that experience.
3. Rock Star gained confidence, strength and inner wisdom from this experience.
4. Through this new awareness of her potential, Rock Star figured out that she is POWERFUL beyond her imagination!
5. Rock Star wound up being exactly what her daughter needed her to be.

When I emailed this article to Rock Star to request her permission to share it with you this was her response. “For me I think the most amazing part is that once I choose to sit through it and surrender to the lack of control, the resources I needed appeared – the same day! Pretty amazing.”

Yeah, pretty amazing!

So how does this relate to your business?

Well, you probably already see how, but I’ll share with you what I see. If you are forcing results with your will power, you are working from negative energy. You are feeling frustration, anxiety, overwhelm and sometimes even desperation.

All you are going to get back from that kind of energy is more of the same. Remember, what we focus our energy on expands. So if you are focused on how many clients you DON’T have, how much copy you HAVE NOT written for your website, or how SMALL your list is, that is exactly what you are going to get more of.

In my 8-Week Stepping Beyond Your Comfort Zone Tele-Coaching Program you are going to learn EXACTLY how to refocus that negative energy – in the moment – to energy that serves you, giving you access to the solutions oriented part of your brain where you will be open to attract the inspired solutions that you previously had been trying to force. It will be easy!

Pretty cool, huh?

For more information and to register for my 8-Week Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone Tel-Coaching Program beginning February 10, click here:
http://www.coregrowthanddevelopment.com/8-week_telecourse.html

Happy Thursday!

Although I am Jewish and we usually save all our confessing for one huge Holiday in the fall, I feel the need to confess and ask for your forgiveness.

I have been a BAD blogger. I committed to blogging twice a week, on Monday and Thursday. These past few weeks I have not been consistent. I do have legitimate reasons, though.

Our beautiful pup who was going to turn 15 on Valentine’s Day began her final journey Home. This past month she was getting worse and worse. She was rescued when she just 1 1/2 and we are not sure of her breed, but she looked mostly German Shepherd.

If you know about Shepherds you know that they don’t usually live to be that old and that they typically experience hip problems. Well that’s what final slowed Asha down. Her body was just not able to hold her ever expanding Spirit.

She was a great dog! So friendly, loving and affectionate, with everyone. Even children. She would hang out with me here in my home office and keep me company. Adam called her my “co-coach”. Last Thursday we helped her make her transition Home more peaceful. So I hope you understand why blogging kind of slipped my mind.

As for why I missed Monday’s blog? Well, I was caught up in the final prep work of my Preveiw call for my new 8-Week Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone Tele-Coaching Program. You can find out more about that here:

http://www.coregrowthanddevelopment.com/8-week_telecourse.html

It’s a really powerful program for women entrepreneurs.

So that’s why I have been a bad blogger. I will do my best to do better. Sometimes we have to give ourselves permission to not do everything. Sometimes something has to give and last week it was my blogging.

I’ll leave you with a picture of our beloved Asha. She was very loved and is very missed.

Asha as my Flower Dog at our wedding in August 08.

My yummy clients naturally fall into the category of “highly motivated and results oriented”. At their core, that’s who they are. They know how to get things done, they are creative, masterful and have a ton of energy.

Unfortunately at times, this can work against them. Because they are so highly motivated, they take on WAY TOO MUCH. Coming from the belief that they can do it all (and trust me they can), to say no to most opportunities is like admitting weakness.

How do I know so much about these fabulous women? I am the exact same way. For many years I would take on every challenge, opportunity and new adventure that came my way. Not only that, but I would juggle all of them at the same time.

We often hear how well women multitask as if that is a GOOD thing. I personally see it as an obstacle to overcome. At a recent seminar I attended, Marcus Buckingham, author of “Find Your Strongest Life”, told us that we lose 10 IQ points when we attempt to do two things at once. We only lose 4 IQ points if we were to get high!

Think about that!

Although you may think you are SO GOOD at multitasking, and this may not apply to you, the reality is, you can’t do two things WELL at the same time.

Something that I have learned on my journey, and what I teach my clients, is that slow and steady definitely wins the race. That doesn’t mean you can’t tackle your projects with the same enthusiasm, vigor, and “will do” attitude. It just means you need to bite off smaller pieces and get laser focused on doing your best, most creative work on THAT particular piece. Then move onto the next.

Not only does this set you up for success after success, it helps build your confidence by achieving your goals, and builds your creativity by allowing your imagination to be activated.

The next time you sit down to do more than one thing at a time. Try this:

• Decide which is the top priority
• Close everything else down. (including email, phone, text)
• Get a clear vision of what you want to accomplish and in what period of time. (work in short blocks of time)
• Give yourself some sort of acknowledgment when you have completed the task

Let me know how it goes. Add your comments below.

WW update: Lost 2.8 lbs this week! How are you doing?

Until Thursday . . . XO