Carolyn Myss says that every time you take action to grow, the very next thing to occur is self-sabotage. Every single time! I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t add to my willingness to move forward. Yet moving forward I must, so let’s take this self-sabotage thing on straight away.

For me it’s that feeling of being a fraud. Every time I decide to play bigger and put myself out there to serve more, I hear that voice inside say, “I wouldn’t do that, they’re going to find you out!”

Ali Brown calls it the “Success Fraud Complex” or the “Imposter Phenomenon”. Boy was I relieved when I saw that I wasn’t the only woman experiencing this phenomenon that quite literally stops me in my tracks.

Dr. Margaret Chan, the Director General of the World Health Organization (WHO) and the world’s most powerful health official was widely praised for her handling of the bird flu epidemic. Even though her ability, conviction, and good judgment saved countless lives, Dr. Chan discounted her native smarts—and the opportunity to promote herself—attributing it all to luck.”

If the DG of the WHO thinks her success is attributed to luck, do I even stand a chance??? Of course I do and so do you!

When it comes down to it this complex, or phenomenon is just another way our old behaviors and limiting beliefs hold us back to maintain the status quo in their attempt to protect us from what they consider to be potentially disastrous consequences.

Let me explain. For me this feeling of being a fraud comes from my fear of losing my connection with my Self. When I think of growing professionally and reaching more and more women with my message, I get scared that I won’t be able to maintain the intimacy of working with women in small groups and that I will have to do it the way the big gurus do on stage with hundreds, sometimes even thousands of people in their audience.

Now although I would love to touch that many women and make that kind of difference, at this stage in my game, that is way too big for me and I feel overwhelmed, anxious and scared. So my defense mechanism jumps in and on a subconscious level I self-sabotage in the form of these fraudulent feelings. Make sense? As long as I allow my Self to yield to the inner dialogue telling me I am a fraud, I stay put, stay small and deny my Self another opportunity to fulfill my purpose.

THAT is not who I am and not why I’m here. And it certainly isn’t in alignment with what I teach my clients! So if I’m going to lead by example and expect my clients to play big, than it’s time for a conversation with my Self so I can move through this obstacle.

Your Assignment

Whether you have your own business, you work for someone else or you are still searching for your dream career, playing big and stretching beyond your comfort zone is part of the game.

If you are experiencing feelings of being a fraud or an imposter, you will need to find out where that is coming from and squelch it! So you can move past it, move forward and make the impact you (and I) know you are here to make.

1. Grab Your Journal! By now you know I am a huge fan of journaling. There is no better way to gain access to your Inner Wisdom than to sit down, get quiet and have a conversation with her. So begin by asking, “What am I afraid of?” Another good place to start is “What is the worst thing that could happen?” Keep writing and stay curious. Leave all judgment out the door and trust what is revealed to you.
2. Create Safety ~ Through your journaling you will gain clarity about that fear which is holding you back. In order to move forward, you must create a safe space to take action and move ahead. For me it looked like this: “As long as I stay connected to my Inner Wisdom and maintain a level of intimacy with the women I serve that feels good for us all, everything will be OK and I can continue to grow.”
3. Take Action ~ Now that you have a safe space to grow in, it’s time to take action. Go back to your conversation with your Inner Wisdom and find out what your best next step is to move you closer to your goal. Then take it!
4. Remember Why You Are Here ~ When I think of all the women I have served and all those yet to come, I remember that this is bigger than me. I am a messenger, a servant, a Spiritual reminder. My purpose is to share the wisdom that I have been blessed with so that others may do the same. It’s the proverbial ripple effect.

So who am I, who are YOU, to interrupt that process because of some silly voice in our heads feeding us fruitless excuses why we can’t? No Way! Not on my watch! You are way bigger than that and so am I.

So . . . kick that fraud to the curb and go out there and make your mark on the world!

To read Ali Brown’s article about Success Fraud Complex, click here: http://www.thealimagazine.com/success-fraud-complex

I know you’ve been there a million times before. That place of “stuckness”. Whether you are suffering through another episode of analysis paralysis, or you are scared to let go of what is in fear of the unknown of what could be, feeling stuck is an uncomfortable way to feel.

It’s like still water. No flow, no ripple effect, no waves. All you can see is your own reflection as clear as day. Every wrinkle, sun spot and imperfection looking back at you reminding you that here you are stuck yet again!

You may hear that you should move through your stuckness. Let go of whatever you are holding onto and just take that leap of Faith into the unknown. I agree to some degree. If you are holding on just out of fear of what’s to come then absolutely, go for it! Throw caution to the wind and trust that when you propel yourself off that cliff, you will either land smoothly or you will grow wings and soar!

Another train of thought, especially if this place you are stuck in is very familiar, is that you need to stay here and fully experience this place. Forcing yourself to move through it will only generate more resistance which will give that which is holding you back so much more power.

So when you are feeling stuck try this:

• Do a body scan ~ where in your body do you feel this stuckness?
• Identify it ~ what does it feel like? (temperature, consistency, weight, color)
• Speak to it ~ why is it there? what does it want you to know?
• Release it ~ when you feel the shift, allow it to go.

This exercise requires you to get quiet with your Self. Put a few moments aside, shut down the outside world in service of your relationship with your Self. There is a reason you keep experiencing this similar place of stuckness, and you will continue to experience it until you learn the lesson it is wanting you to learn. So slow down and do yourself this favor.

Then let me know how it goes. OK?

What a week last week was! As I shared in my last post, I was challenged by a lot of interfering energy that I could have interpreted as obstacles telling me I was heading in the wrong direction. OR as a friend pointed out, it could have been a test to see if I am fully committed to the changes I am making.

As it turns out it was a little of both.

I am working on a new Special Report. I have a wonderful opportunity to offer it globally in an inspirational woman’s magazine called Aspire. (Get your free subscription right here on my site!) The designer I was working with to create the ad didn’t feel like a right match for me due to the fact that I didn’t feel we were speaking the same language. You know me, I use words like “Spirit, Flow, Feminine Energy” I wasn’t quite sure he grasped the essence of my desire. When I saw the first draft of the ad I realized that was true.

But the deadline was coming upon me and if I stopped the process then, I would have NO ad for the issue. I could have chosen to take the easy way out and stay with things as they are now and not pushed forward to “make” this new thing happen. I was blessed though as the Universe was there to support me in the form of very good friends showing up and taking a stand for who they know me to be. One friend in particular refused to let me settle.

When I made the decision to see things through with my new idea no matter what, and stop any further work with this designer, that’s when things really opened up for me. The deadline I had to make was moved back by 4 days, giving me enough time to seek out the proper help I needed. Although I didn’t need to look very far because again, a friend showed up and offered the resources I needed to create the perfect way to share my new message.

The woman who created my new ad so clearly understood what I was looking to share. On her first attempt she created the most beautiful, soft, feminine advertisement that I am SO very proud of.

I could not have completed this task had it not been for two things.

1. I had to let go of control and TRUST my Inner Wisdom, who knew from the beginning that I wasn’t working with the right designer.
2. By letting go I opened up a world of solutions and opportunity to come flooding in in the form of loving supportive friends who had resources, mentoring and Divine wisdom to share with me and remind me of my own message.

All the answers and all the solutions are inside of us. We must remember to trust that place so deep inside that gives us nudges of information and feelings of intuition and follow it. It will always lead us in the right direction!

Until Thursday, listen carefully to what YOUR Inner Wisdom is telling you . . . XO

When you make the commitment to take that next big step in your business or your life, often times as you attempt to move forward in that direction, you run into all kinds of resistance and obstacles.

This is happening for me right now as I move towards something exciting and new in my business. I am running into all sorts of obstacles in the form of miscommunication. BTW, is Mercury in Retrograde????

After talking to a friend and sharing with her that perhaps all this resistance is a sign, maybe I’m making the wrong changes, she challenged me, as all good friends do, and offered up the possibility that I am being tested. Do I really believe in this new thing enough to push through all these obstacles, miscommunications and resistance and make it happen? Am I committed to putting my all into my new project and risking change in service of taking my biz to the next level?

Great new perspective I said. Now I really have to look inside and connect with my Inner Wisdom to see which feels right for me. Is this interfering energy a sign to get off this path, or is it a test to see if I am really committed? If it is a test, it is certainly pushing all the right buttons because this morning after yet another BIG misalignment, I was at one point ready to throw in the towel.

Now after sharing with you, I’m not sure that’s the right way to go. You see I will need to take a big step out of my comfort zone and stretch myself. It will require a financial investment in my biz and a belief investment in my SELF. And THAT is always scary, right?

I’ll keep you posted as to what I’ve decided to do. I have a deadline to meet tomorrow, so I’ll update you on Thursday . . . XO

One of the more profound experiences I took away from the mastermind event last month was connecting with my BIG Why. Why am I doing this? What is so important, so meaningful, that no matter how low the lows get, I just won’t allow myself to walk away?

The first thing that came to mind when I began journaling about this was Marianne Williamson’s quote. (If you don’t know it click over to my home page). My BIG Why is to help other women reclaim their power and, like one of my clients said, “quadruple it”! My BIG Why is about making a huge transformation in the world one woman at a time.

As each woman realizes that it does not serve her * or the world * to play small, then she can begin to make BIG changes. The purpose of us being here is to find our happiness. What is it that brings us joy, love, gratitude? Once we find that thing, it is our responsibility to help others find theirs.

I am fortunate enough to have found my “thing”. The thing that makes me happier than I have ever dreamed of being. I’m talking about feeling joy and humility in such a deep place that I know I am not alone in this experience. And let me tell you, if I can get to this place, trust me, so can you!

My BIG Why is to be a facilitator so others can do the same for themselves. I’ll let you in on a secret. That’s some scary stuff! That’s a whole lot of playing big that at times I am not sure I’m up to. But the alternative, stepping back and playing small, is just not an option any longer. I have a purpose and I am determined to fulfill it!

So what is your BIG Why? Why do you do what you do? If you are not sure, beyond the surface reason’s of ‘it feels good and I like to help people’, grab your journal and start writing about it. That’s what helped me. Keep going deeper and deeper. Keep asking “why?”

I would very much like to hear what you come up with. Please share it with me below.

Have a great weekend, and I’ll be back on Monday . . . XO

For me personal growth & development is about building and strengthening your relationship with your SELF. When you consider all your relationships, the ones that work the best are the ones where there is honesty, truthful communication, loyalty, compassion, love, acceptance and so on. Most of us have little difficulty contributing these attributes in our relationships with others, yet in our relationship with ourselves we typically fall short.

In order to strengthen your relationship with yourself you must be ready, willing and able to get real about how you show up in your life. This is the time when you realize that no one else is responsible for your life but YOU. There is no one else to blame for where you are now and where you have been. It’s time to stop blaming your parents! Or the circumstances of your life.

It’s up to you to make the necessary changes in order to play BIGGER in your life.

If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it.
If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.
~ Richard Bach

Would you rather be an active participant in your life or just go through the motions?

If you’re feeling like your life is just passing you by, like you merely exist rather than fully living it, then NOW is the time to take action and be responsible for your life.

Here are 12 reasons why making your personal development a priority will positively shift the quality of your life forever:

1. Clean up your past
2. Strengthen your relationships
3. Boost your Career
4. Be a better Parent
5. Set and keep boundaries
6. Increase your income
7. Get out of your own way
8. Have a happier marriage
9. Be healthier
10. Overcome obstacles and challenges with ease
11. Reframe old patterns and limiting beliefs
12. Reverse negative self talk

“If it is to be, it’s up to me.”
~ Unknown

So are you ready to create a new empowering role for your self and your life?

What’s it going to be?

Have a joy-filled weekend!

XO

Marianne Williamson.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Print this out. Read it every morning and every night, until you know deep in your heart how amazing you are. How valuable you are. And how your uniqueness is needed in our world.

We are all on a never-been-before-and-never-will-again experience. So shine your light bright!

Until Thursday . . . XO

OK, part two of the new car drama.

Yet, there’s no drama! It’s as if by venting all my frustrations out on Monday’s Blog, I cleared the way for the Universe to deliver to me the most pleasant car buying experience.

The salesmen I worked with were, kind and not a bit sleezy. They told me up front, we want to earn your business and that’s exactly what they did! Having purchased my last vehicle with this same dealership, they treated me so well with appreciation and got me into the car I wanted at the price that fit my budget.

Like my husband said on the ride home after leaving the dealership, “Do you realize you got EVERYTHING you wanted?” I said, yes of course I do. Hee, Hee, Hee! I am so grateful for my good fortune!

The whole experience was so pleasant!

So if you live in the Boston area and need a new car go see Peter, Bill and Hayden over at Boch Honda in Norwood, MA.

They can make it happen in a way that makes you leave feeling good!

Boy I love that New Car Smell!

My lease has been up for quite some time now. I extended it once already, but now it’s really time for me to trade it in and get a new car. I like leasing. I like looking forward to having a new car every 3-4 years!

Although I love the idea of having a new car, I equally abhor the process involved in shopping and buying it. I am a bottom line kind of girl. I tell you my budget, you tell me if you can fit it. Period. The end. But Noooooo! It isn’t that painless of a process in the car industry. So for three hours of our time yesterday and two additional hours today, I have been negotiating with two different dealerships.

My favorite part (insert sarcasm here) is when my kind, friendly salesman brings his slippery slimy manager into the office. Immediate change of energy! This happened to Adam and I yesterday. I don’t think this man could have spoken any faster, without actually saying anything, if he tried! He even had the Southern drawl! AND he had the nerve to accuse us of trying to steal his car!!!!

My husband and I walked away and felt like we needed showers!

Then as we were in the car, they called back with a better offer. I mean REALLY! Can you say BOTTOM LINE? It would save us all a lot of time and aggravation.

Any way, I think I will know the bottom line from the second dealership tonight, we’ll see. These guys seemed less slippery and more motivated. Keep your fingers crossed for me OK? I’ll have pictures when I bring her home!

I’d love to hear about your experiences like this one. Are you a negotiator or do you like to get right to the point like me?

Until Thursday . . . XO

In “Think and Grow Rich” Napleon Hill wrote, “When two or more people coordinate in a spirit of harmony and work toward a definite objective, they place themselves in position, through that alliance, to absorb power directly from the great Universal storehouse of Infinite Intelligence.”

YES! This is what I did at the beginning of this week with my Master Mind group. It was my first live experience of a Master Mind. We have been meeting on the phone each month since the beginning of the year. Yet being together in the same room was a completely different encounter.

We really did connect with Higher Source on many occasions. Thoughts and ideas were Divinely downloaded in an instant as we created, collaborated, supported and loved each other and our businesses.

What I came away with, in addition to a plan for the next 90 days for my biz, is the reminder that SO MUCH of building our businesses is about building and strengthening our relationship with ourselves.

If we relate this to the 80/20 rule, 80% of the biz building is mindset, 20% is all the rest. If your head is not on straight you will continue to get in your own way and hold yourself back and keep yourself small.

This so beautifully fits in with my message with my clients. You have to get out of your comfort zone and do the hard work in service of your personal (and business) growth and development.

Now I don’t usually use the blog for self promotion, and I’m going to now. If you need a boost or a good ‘ole kick in the keister, scroll up a bit and get your gift copy of my “Three Secrets to Stretch Beyond Your Comfort Zone and into Your Personal Power”.  It’s got a few great tips on how to get the heck out of your own way!

Until next week, have a great weekend and Stretch yourself a bit. I mean really, is it going to hurt THAT bad?

XO